Friday, January 21, 2011

I'm Lost

Not much sewing recently as I was struggling back to my daily routines. Workloads came in one by one. My days passed by without touching my beloved Singer.... :(

I've so many things to sew yet the moment I reach home, I become drowsy. I'm mentally & physically exhausted. Even my weekends are fully booked. All the cut & ironed fabrics are hopelessly waiting for me to assemble them together. I manage to touch & feel the texture of my fabies but that's all. Even my lil gal seems to guard me away from my sewing room. Does she feel that she has to compete with my Singer to get my attention? Yeah, it pained me when she complained. "Mama ni asyik2 mnjahit. " It even hurt me more coz she didn't mind not having a new dress or a new skirt as long as I didn't do anything. It did occur to me that I somehow became a failure in my quest to realise my dream. Is it true that I've spent more time sewing than with them? If it's true, then I'm the BIGGEST LOSER in balancing my life & love! :P

Guilt is all over me. I do feel ashamed & bad. The crave to sew is too much to handle but if I start sewing, I feel guilty. If I don't sew, I'll be guilty too. I've told myself to finish what I've started. Promises are to be kept, not to be broken. Just like in the poem by Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken. I must make a choice. (sigh!) :(

Hey, this is not going to be the end of the world! Maybe fatigue has overcome me & exhausted my whole system. Everything is about balance! I went to various blogs to search for answers. If they could do it, why not me!
(nak sedapkn ati le ni)

Even spending time online... blogging... writing this at this very moment doesn't help much. I'm torn! Should i take the road less travelled by?

p.s. i'm not perfect. that's why i'm human... I'm lost... help!!!


  1. Rosh..don be so hard on yourself..I think every normal person will have to pass that stage in live where every thing seem uncertain and so many things needed so much attention and there are just too little time perhaps the best is take each day by itself ...accomplish whatever is easily within your reach..and enjoy every day to the fullest...

  2. thanks kak ros. thanks so much for d advice.

  3. rosh.. dont push yourself too much. take it as leisure... as hobby.. take your own sweet time to finish it... unless kalau ambil upah (thats why I am avoiding myself from taking order heheh). Previously my Izzah also complaining to me the same thing, but I asked what she enjoy most and I explain to her this is the thing that I enjoyed most.. lucky that she understand.. sbb kalau dia bermain, dia tak suka dganggu hehehe. kecuali weekdays lerr.. kena tido cepat,

  4. Kak..jgn stress out.. dan jangan risau..
    perasaan ini akan pergi jua.. saya rasa ramai yang mengalaminya,cuma tak berani berterus terang macam akak.. :)
    bak kata kawan saya, ini adalah kecelaruan perasaan dan fikiran akibat stress.. berdoalah.. hanya yang Esa Yang Maha mengetahui segalanya...

    cheer up!

  5. mila, thanks. i should try this method. hrp2 menjadik.

    zila, skrg ni tgh adjust balik apa yg terlebih @ terkurang... hrp2 semuanya ok. amin...

  6. Menjahit bila suka je. Kalau letih, break. Spend time with the kids. Bila ada masa free, boleh cuba jahit balik. Take it easy dan enjoy setiap masa, setiap hari. :)

  7. thanx yati. tgh jahit tea cozy dgn sentimentalnya.... hehehe...